The Life Of Me.

It's February 2nd, 2009, and still depressed and all that junk. I need to get my life back on track, I've got to find a job and get my GED, and save up for a vehicle. I feel like I don't even know who I am anymore. I thought I did but I guess I really don't. And I scared of being alone and I have to start working on that because from now on it's going to be just about me and no one else (mainly men). I need to find out who I am and what I want to do in my life from now on. No men in my life until I know I'm really ready to be in a relationship. Not nessasarily a long term relationship but if that's where it leads then so be it! I just don't need a relationship until I can get my life on track and have a job of my own so I do NOT have to rely on others especially a man!!! That way they know that I am capiable of fending for myself and I don't have to have anyone else to buy the stuff that I need through the rest of my life! I've had some bad experiences with men in my life. Since I have been 14. All I was good for is to be used and I fell right inlove with everyone of them and it's been like that every since. It's sad! It really is! I just feel like I can't do anything without having a man in my life!! I guess you could say that's crazy/wrong?!?!?!?!?! I dunno! But the man that I guess I might as well call my ex, I really do love. But I will not have a relationship with him until I get my life straightened out to have something through out the rest of my life!!!